Attracting Men: Women ALWAYS Make the First Move

Posted on by motorcitymoxie

Here’s a question from Style Chic 360, a fellow Detroiter and thrifty gal.

When it comes to attracting men, women select the music. Men do the dancing. Click to tweet.

I cannot stress enough that your feminine allure (tm) is your gift offering. It’s the GIFT that produces ATTRACTION in men! Click to tweet.

We women have plenty power, and you have to recognize that you, girlfriend, make the first move. But, not the “first move” that you might be thinking. Your first move is that of the subtlety. Though men may believe that they make the first move, studies show that 90% of the time women are the initiators.

By a simple smile or subtle eye contact, or by using both and “smizing” like this… you offer an invitation to which he can decide to respond or not. Your first initiation is simply an invitation that permits a man, or gives him the guts, to speak to you. That is, unless he’s playing a number’s game.

Your success with attracting men is dependent upon your ability to send courtship signals. It’s also dependent upon your ability to decode what’s being sent back to you.

Do this. Consider your body language.

First, give him the green light! Use your body language to signal to him that he has permission to approach you. Men don’t want to experience rejection; so, make it easier for him. For example, keep your space open. Depending on the situation, don’t sit at the table with your back turned to the people. Through body language, let him know you’re receptive to being approached.

Second, create sexual polarity by emphasizing the gender differences. Polarity is the state of having opposite or contradictory tendencies. So when a woman offers her GIFT, her feminine allure(tm), it attracts men because he comes into contact with an energy that is opposite of his own. Remember, it is femininity to which masculinity is first attracted! When you emphasize the gender difference and create polarity, you create fascination about yourself and become magnetic.

The study of physics teaches that polarity is a magnetic or electric field. I looked up the word “polarity” in the dictionary, and it notes that polarity “is the property that produces unequal effects in a body, similar to a magnet.”

There you have it!

Since humans only come in two species, male and female, we must RESPECT the differences in gender design. We’re similar, but we’re not same. Keeping this in mind is a woman’s key to successful interaction with men.

My last tip in attracting men is to distinguish feminine appearance vs. feminine manner.

Sure, you got the look; but, what we lack is the delicate and vulnerable nature often associated with femininity. So, you want to create situations that invite your feminine nature to get noticed.

Watch the video above for specific tactics, or click here and read this.

To your enhancement,

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BE GOOD. LOOK GOOD. DO BETTER!

Who are your Friends? Who are you Following?…

Posted on by motorcitymoxie

… and WHAT ARE THEY INTRODUCING TO YOU?

Recently, I listened to a podcast where the women mentioned how much trash was in their Twitter feed. Of course, I thought to myself… well, I don’t have that nonsense in my feed, and if I did, I would delete it, stat!.

We must be careful what we permit ourselves to tolerate… even on Twitter. Click to tweet.

We must also be careful of what we allow to infiltrate our minds and bodies. Click to tweet.

There are certain people in your life whose goal is to ensure that you shine bright…like a diamond (in my Badgal RiRi voice). Nurture those good relationships because they will help you to operate at full capacity. Then, there are others, those whose goal is not to keep you stagnant, but they don’t really propel you to success. They serve the status quo. Be careful!

Anyone who doesn’t help comfortable with your present self will be a threat to your future. Sure, you should know that you can’t change people. But, watch out if they’re not pushing you and encouraging you to move forward.

Remember, you become a byproduct of those with whom you hang around the most. So, who’s your Fab 5? What new sites are they showing you? Are they only sending you links from World Star Hip Hop and Media Takeout? Is the glue of your relationship only juicy or malicious gossip? Or, are they sending you links about health, community involvement, relationship building, devotionals, etc?

Don’t get me wrong nah, I tunes into WSHH, especially to read the comments. They’re just hilarious! But, if that’s all that is being introduced to me, it’s my responsibility to make adjustments rather than excuses.

YOU CHOOSE who is allowed to influence your thinking. Click to tweet.

Consider these things and the impact it’s making on your life. Ask yourself:

Who are my friends? Who am I following? What are they introducing me to?
When’s the last time I had a conversation with a friend that inspired me?
Do I have an accountability partner?

CHOOSE to make two bold decisions… only two!

First, pursue an uncommon mentor… Someone who will impart knowledge in you and from whose experience you can learn. DONT BE SCARED to talk to people. We do ourselves a disservice just because of our own fear. You must value your future more than you value your fears! Click to tweet.
Second, when you get your chance, pay it forward! Do better for someone else. Introduce them to something of value and benefit. And, STOP BEING STINGY. Have an abundant mindset. When you share you add value!

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BE GOOD. LOOK GOOD. DO BETTER!

Allow Him the Pleasure of Getting to Know You

Posted on by motorcitymoxie

Your feminine nature does a lot for a man. Remember your feminine allure is your gift offering. By simply being who God called you to be, basking in your own strengths, inevitably you allow men to experience delight.

Many of us only have slight understanding of our feminine power. But, if you knew the capacity that your allure can have on turning a man’s heart upside down, on attracting the best from life, and on serving as a model for our sisters and daughters, you would exercise your charm more often because like a virtuous woman, you “perceiveth your merchandise as good.”

Hey now… please don’t misconstrue the concept of exercising your feminine charm with manipulation. Your charm, your radiant presence, your alluring smile, and your beauty is a tool, an asset like any other. Remember, a knife in the hand of a criminal or a surgeon is the same tool, what matters is the intent.

Soooo, give him the gift of getting to know you! We women are sometimes blind to our own charms, so it’s hard to understand the masculine point of view. Click to tweet.

Don’t you know that you render a service? You serve the world by being the very spirit of radiance, harmony, and grace. Giving someone the pleasure of getting to know you can be more gratifying than the fleeting feelings associated with sex. Click to tweet.

Here are some tactics that will equip you to give him the pleasure of getting to know you.

Create situations that get you noticed. If you teach a recreational class, invite him to attend and to participate. Or, you two could perform a service activity together. Just create experiences where your true worth will be evident.
When you’re together, tactfully steer the conversation to situations that reveal more of your character, that part of you that’s unselfish, gentle, and devouted to principle. Don’t talk about sex, but don’t be too stiff.
Have an absorbing interest in life! Maintain your hobbies and show that you actually enjoy them. Not only will this keep him guessing, but it’ll also indicate that you’re enthusiastic about life. This will diminish any feeling that you are bored with life and hunting for a man as an escape. So, continue to develop your gifts. Play to your strengths and improve your weaknesses.

Ohhh, and remember this… people associate you with whatever feelings you produce in them on a consistent basis. So, when a guy is interested in you, it’s not so much you as the pleasure, instead, it’s the comfort and feeling of strength and manliness your society gives to him. This, girlfriend, is what arouses his interest in you.

***Bonus: So, if you’re serious and intentional about anything I mentioned above, more specifically, you should create situations that invite your feminine nature to be noticed. These include: showing your skills in the feminine arts, (i.e. cooking, tidying up, organizing), displaying your need for his help (car trouble, etc). The list could go on, but basically, I suggest creating any situation that would prompt you to appear delicate, fearful, dependent, tender, etc.

Now, just in case you’re reading this and are skeptical, just remember that it is femininity to which masculinity is first attracted! The more pronounced your femininity in contrast to his masculinity, the more noticeable you become.

Think about it…just think about why women find the alpha male so attractive. If you’re like me, then you’re attracted to men who have the baseline requirements: intelligence, relationship with God, employment, ambition, takes care of his body and appearance, good relationship with mom, etc. But, I like a little je ne sais quoi… men who are good with their hands, who like to build, knows how to assemble, takes care of business.

Once, I dated a guy who came from money. We stopped at the gas station and brother didn’t even know how to put oil in my car. Girl, I was through… not really, but I did take mental note. I hope you get my point. If not leave a comment below.

Note: Don’t be surprised if a guy would like to speak to you, and please don’t give him the “why are you talking to me” look. Make sure your personality is just as beautiful as you are!

To your enhancement!

If you’re curious about ways to nuture your feminine allure, subscribe below to the Moxie Manifesto.

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BE GOOD. LOOK GOOD. DO BETTER!

Protect the Precious Male Ego

Posted on by motorcitymoxie

Understanding the Male Ego

**Note: Below is a message that I sent to the subscribers of the Moxie Manifesto. Because my subscribers trust me with their email, I typically reserve such info for them. But, for some reason I was compelled to share this on the blog. I don’t plan to make a habit of this either; so, if you like what you read below then subscribe.

A couple of weeks ago, I was in the gym and I saw a guy who was definitely “my physical type.” He wore scrub bottoms and a v-neck white tee… looking like a man who cares about his appearance, but who doesn’t spend too much time in the gym so as to hint at vanity or unemployment. You know… it’s like he just had to pump a little bit of iron to maintain.

So anywho, I thought to myself maybe I should compliment him. He was there in the gym, he has a nice shape, he caught my attention, no one else did…why not?

Girl, let me tell you… this Indian man was fine… nice thick black hair that was cut very stylishly and urbane, casually cool, and he was well-built overall. While I was stretching, he walked over to the water fountain near me and I finally built up the courage to say something. As he was leaving I said, ” Pst… hey medical man.”

Him: ”Yea”

Me: ”You have a really nice physique!”

Him: ”Oh pshhh, please! You should’ve seen me when I was younger.” Then, walked away.

Me: ”Oh stop.” (but, in my head…. Hmmm, scuse me…..oookkkaaaayyyy).“

But girl, not only did he dismiss me and my compliment, but he also gave me the dismissive hand. Ouch!

Remember a couple months ago, I told you to get confortable receiving compliments? I hope you read it. Well, this is one of the reasons why. It’s offensive not to graciously accept a compliment. There I was admiring his masculine body and that man was like…

More importantly though, I can only imagine how a man must feel when we wound his sensitive male pride. It takes courage for a man to continue before us women. But, do you know why?

It’s because women have precarious influence. You can either build or destroy a man, depending on how you deal with his masculine ego. Click to tweet.

Nothing compares to your feminine power, and nothing can replace your God-given power to minister the healing balm that keeps men going. Click to Tweet

Not only does this apply to your romantic relationships with men, but also consider your brother(s), your father, and your son(s) and how you might apply this lesson in your interactions with them.

To Do Tactic: Break down his wall of reserve by protecting the sensitive male ego.

Reserve is an inner wall a man creates that protects him from the pain of humiliation. Nothing is so frightening to a man than as the horror of making a fool of himself. I remember a man that I was in a relationship with asked me, ” if I asked you would you say yes?” to a marriage proposal that is.

I responded with a simple, “maybe” because I wanted him to take the risk and ask without my prompting. To me, it would’ve served as evidence that he wanted to be with me that much. At that time, I didn’t understand my role in creating his reluctance to propose. It wasn’t until another man jokingly, but intentionally said to me, ” you need to say yes before I ask then say yes again when I ask” that I understood the male thought pattern and their fear of humiliation.

What I realize is that it may seem like a minor example; BUT, it has such a major impact on the sensitivity of a man’s nature. When you observe the sensitivity of a man’s nature, you know how careful you must be in conversations. You cannot have an unbridled tongue and permit yourself to say anything you please. The responsibility is on you to withhold opinions and feelings that will wound his sensitive pride.

You might be thinking, ” Why am I the one who has to hold my tongue? What about my ego and pride?

It’s because as a woman, you reign in a higher position of influence. You have the power and you are in position to influence the behavior of men, rather than vice versa. Yep, we influence men more than they influence us.

So keep that in mind and also consider these other tips as part of your feminine allure training.

Never tell a guy to “Man up!” Girl, I did once and it was devastating. I’ll have to share that experience live in one of our girl talk sessions.
Never belittle, ridicule, or show indifference to part of a man’s masculinity.
Never imply that someone else is doing better.
Never ignore a demonstration of his masculinity. If you think he’s “fishing” for a compliment, sacrifice your own ego and offer up one. If he’s in the mirror flexing and finessing say, “wow, you’re looking strong and hmmmm __________.” Fill in the blank “
Oh, this is a big one- Don’t consider a sarcastic remark acceptable just because it’s sheltered with humor! ”Who me… date a guy like you? Or, “you know you can’t fix that!”

What does this mean for you?

By protecting the precious male ego you develop better relationships with men. They begin to adore you because you know how to heal the wound inflicted by others. They desire to be around you because they begin to associate you with happiness and love. He’ll climb outside of himself (his shell) unlock the door making it possible for you to get next to him.

When you show up as a higher caliber woman, one who exists as love and tenderness, and not one who is dismissive because she hasn’t been trained in the ways of her feminine allure, then men will naturally draw closer to you because he DETECTS your warmth, sympathy, and acceptance of him.

I know this seems like a lot, but you know a woman’s work is never done girl. Also, this is just a hint of what I teach in my Moxie Manifesto. So, if the info served you, and you’re curious to learn more, subscribe below.

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BE GOOD. LOOK GOOD. DO BETTER!

Increase Mystery= Increase Attraction

Posted on by motorcitymoxie

Not too long ago, I wrote about how not become His Default Chick. More importantly though, I mentioned the synergy between warmth and mystery. To increase attraction, remember your warmth is what attracts a person to you and it’s your mystery that will keep him engaged.

So, how do you build mystery? I will leave you with three of the methods of mystery building. Watch the video below.

Wear your ___________________
Classify yo’__________________
Decrease your _______________

I hope this information served you. I’m sure you have a few tricks up your sleeve. What other tips have you been taught to help build your mystery. List them below.

There are plenty women who read this and will be grateful for your perspective. By the way, I can have even more feminine allure training delivered to your inbox weekly… stuff that I don’t write about on the blog. If you’re interested, subscribe below.

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BE GOOD. LOOK GOOD. DO BETTER!